The Blueberries

A Capella

moominman — Mon, 25 May 2009 23:43:43 +0000

I’ve always been curious about the exact translation, and I finally found out this weekend that ‘a capella’ translates to ‘without testicles.’

This explains a lot about Russell and the rest of the members of Rhythm and Blue.

Business Idea

moominman — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:32:39 +0000

Upon my last visit to Burch, I was inspired to go into the business of selling an extremely underrepresented garment in the clothing industry: Snuggies.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qsjlYtt8u4E/SaUBTsnHVZI/AAAAAAAAEPA/evPl8vyAa3g/s400/SnuggieGreen.jpg

Here are some ideas for types of Snuggies that my store will sell:

The Casual Snuggie

The Business Snuggie

The Romantic Snuggie

The Athletic/Football Snuggie

The Swimming Snuggie

The Dancing Snuggie

The Snuggie Jr.

The Fireproof Snuggie

The Gangsta Snuggie (Bulletproof)

The Drug Snug

Here’s the catch: they are all exactly the same (the basic model).

HELP

moominman — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:26:33 +0000

Hey bros, I’m getting my application ready for the Guinness Book of World Records’ “Most Cups Hit in a Game of 21″, and I just wanted to know if you could help me out.

I know I hit 15 cups (twice), but I can’t remember if anyone has ever hit that many cups before? I tried really hard, but I just can’t remember! Can someone help me?

Thanks!

-Dan

TEAM SHIRT

russellhainline — Thu, 14 May 2009 06:48:28 +0000

When getting ready to engage in a lively game of 21-cup beer pong, one must make sure beforehand that you have the following:

1. Some commonality between all three players (this is key).

2. A team nickname that reflects said commonality (Team Florida, for example. Or Team Jew).

3. Ideally, matching costumes. Specifically, Asian animation t-shirts worn by middle school white kids who wore black baggy jeans with the wallet chain while listening to bands like Slipknot and ICP.

4. DO NOT: make paper plates keeping tally of your score. While Dan Lerman might think this is a personal shot at his frustrations against Team Shirt, he should note that while I was on his team and we had a team paper plate, we choked. Twice. Food for thought.

Matthew Colabrese and I founded this Principle #3 two weekends ago, where we went on an unparalleled run of success before succumbing due to what some may call a lessening in skill as the night/drinking progressed, but what I call a lessening in consciousness.

All photos of Team Shirt will be posted on The Blueberries when they arrive. Long live Team Shirt.

Advice?

moominman — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:32:55 +0000

I’m thinking of getting a casual vasectomy for my Eurotrip this summer, how easily can those things be undone?

Note to Self

colabrese — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 21:56:25 +0000

Being alone on my balcony is dissimilar from being alone in my apartment. STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF YOU CRAZY FUCK.

Happy Hypos

bigbergen — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 05:48:27 +0000

I bet the proudest moment in the life of a hypochondriac is being diagnosed as a hypochondriac. Like, “Fuck you, I told you I had something.”

The Worst Commercial of All Time

moominman — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 10:15:01 +0000

When I first saw this on TV, I cringed in disgust and instantly tried to block it from my memory. I soon realized, however, that I had stumbled upon the worst commercial of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MypVAwjQWLM

I’m thinking of bringing a projector to my set at UNC just so I can show this.

More Sound Advice from an Unsound Mind

colabrese — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:59:23 +0000

Never tell the barber that you’re in a hurry.

The Library

moominman — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 08:39:42 +0000

True story: last night at about 2 AM, I had a conversation with Matt Campbell about hallucinagenic mushrooms. I was energized by this topic, decided I wanted to know more, and came to Bostock Library to do some research.

Upon collecting a few books and setting up shop, I promptly fell asleep.

My friend who awoke me consequently stumbled upon this scene: me (not an undergrad), passed out snoring, surrounded by a pile of books about “Drugs” , in a puddle of my own drool on a Bostock desk.

What a mess.